You Can't Run Away

In the recent past I have taken up running. It has never been my favorite thing, I have only found the want to run if there was a purpose, like playing a sport or running away from zombies or other dangerous situations. No need to worry thought the latter has only happened a couple of times.

Running is definitely something that I am doing because well it is free and I can't afford a gym right now. It does have it's set backs such as my knee tweaking for a couple of days after each run/jog/walk. And the air is still cold from winter and makes my asthma kick in to high gear causing coughing fits even when I have taken my inhaler as prescribed. But I know there are benefits too.

I now that my body is reacting to the exercise even if it is not much. My clothes are fitting a little better and I can definitely tell that my body is getting stronger. Though I realized the other day that these are not the only reasons that I have been running. I have been running because it gives me the feeling of being able to run away from life's problems.

Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing but it is what it is. When there are problems or feelings that have been troubling me throughout the day I can just run away from them. It is a time when no one can get to me. A place and time when it is just me, I don't answer any text messages or anything of that sort, and I just run away from everything that might be plaguing me. The only thing that is hard sometimes is coming back from the run and remembering the reality that I running from my problems doesn't actually solve anything.

Aches, Pains and Clarity

When you are a bigger girl people tend to expect you to be unhealthy. They sometimes expect me to not be able to run or be very athletic or even to have normal blood pressure. People see me exercising and tend to believe that I am doing it because I want to be skinny like other people. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind, just how much easier my life would be if I was thinner, but for the most part I exercise because I want to be healthy and strong, not necessarily thin.

At this time I have frozen my gym membership and have began just running and working out with my best friends just in the area around where I live. I have never liked running in the past, I have found it boring and annoying. But recently I have found that when I run it gives me a chance to clear my head or just not think about those things that plague me the rest of the 23 hours of the day. It is nice until I have to worry about the aches and pains for the next day or so.

But no matter the aches or pains, I am willing to continue because I can see my improvement over such a short amount of time. A couple of weeks ago when we started running I couldn't run for very long at all, now I improve each day and can run longer and faster, depending on the weather, stupid asthma. And even better I sometimes get to run with my dog and I am pretty sure that he enjoys it as well. Overall I am ready to keep up this venture through all the pain.