Willing To Help A Friend

How far would you go to help out a friend? Is there ever a time when you just have to walk away from the friendship? What are those circumstances?

I have almost never pushed a friend away, and in less than a handful of instances have I stopped being friends with someone. I am always a giving person or at least I try to be. I am willing to stand up for my friends in all kinds of situations and have at times been a middle person or peace keeper to help out the situation. In all my time of being, what i hope is good friend to those around me, I sometimes come to the idea that maybe I put up with more than crap than I really should.

Something that I am beginning to realize is that they might put up with more of my antics than I do of theirs. And I do worry sometimes that I use them irresponsibly. I am not really sure how you would use someone irresponsibly but I worry no matter what that I may have or be doing this. Friends have always been a bit of a mystery for me I guess. I know that doesn't give me a right to treat my friends badly, and for the most part I can't really think of a time that I have done that, though I am human and I am sure there are instances. But I come back to the ultimate question, when is it too far for them to carry me, cover for me, hold me up, or have my back? And vice versus? Is there ever a time when you should walk away from a friend or maybe just not be such good friends?

You Can't Run Away

In the recent past I have taken up running. It has never been my favorite thing, I have only found the want to run if there was a purpose, like playing a sport or running away from zombies or other dangerous situations. No need to worry thought the latter has only happened a couple of times.

Running is definitely something that I am doing because well it is free and I can't afford a gym right now. It does have it's set backs such as my knee tweaking for a couple of days after each run/jog/walk. And the air is still cold from winter and makes my asthma kick in to high gear causing coughing fits even when I have taken my inhaler as prescribed. But I know there are benefits too.

I now that my body is reacting to the exercise even if it is not much. My clothes are fitting a little better and I can definitely tell that my body is getting stronger. Though I realized the other day that these are not the only reasons that I have been running. I have been running because it gives me the feeling of being able to run away from life's problems.

Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing but it is what it is. When there are problems or feelings that have been troubling me throughout the day I can just run away from them. It is a time when no one can get to me. A place and time when it is just me, I don't answer any text messages or anything of that sort, and I just run away from everything that might be plaguing me. The only thing that is hard sometimes is coming back from the run and remembering the reality that I running from my problems doesn't actually solve anything.

Exhausted

I am realizing now that it has been almost two weeks since I had a decent nights sleep. I am not really sure what is going on, but I do know that since i have moved into my new place sleep has been dismal.

The first couple of weeks in the new place it was just not sleeping through the night. Waking up every couple of hours and tossing and turning so much that the blankets were wrapped around me like I was a mummy. This lack of sleep lead to a weakened immune system and then a cold. Luckily that didn't last long and I was sort of back on my feet but the lack of sleep still continued.

It got a little better after the sickness. I can sleep through the night but it still isn't a restful sleep and I wake up completely exhausted. Now it has been almost two full weeks since I last had a decent nights sleep. I have tried many different things, added things that I thought were missing from the move, changing the direction that my head faces while sleeping and even trying a sleeping aid.

Hopefully soon I will be able to figure out exactly what is going on. I am even ok with not knowing if it just goes away. I am so ready for a good nights sleep again.