I get so upset when there are double standards in life. I get even more upset when they directly effect me. Case in point growing up my brother was always allowed to walk around the house in his boxers for the simple fact that he was a boy. My sister and I however, always had to be wearing some type of clothing to cover ourselves up.
Today, grown up and out of my parents house, I make the rules but at the same time I find that this basic concept still remains outside of my control. I don't understand why people still get it in their heads that it is an okay thing to do. And even more so when they know that they are doing it.
I know it is hard to stop yourself from doing those, perhaps not so great, habits that we have taught ourselves to do, and no one is going to stop their habits overnight. That is just not how it works. But I am constantly faced with trying to change those things about myself that maybe others don't find acceptable. I try my hardest to make those changes if those changes are to better myself.
But when others seem to not even try it gets to me. I do believe that we all have the ability to change, if we really want to. The key being if they really want to. So all I really want to change is the double standards that are applied to my life by others. Just be honest and respect me and I will show the same courtesies that is all I ask.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
What's Hidden Inbetween
I was going through the profiles of suggested friends on Facebook today. There are many people that I don't know but there are even more that are friends from church and school when I was younger. Sometimes I like to see if people's pictures are available for viewing just so I can see what is happening in the lives of the people that I grew up around.
Once in awhile I get to see people's happiest moments. Everyone is happy or getting married or having babies and it is great to see. But sometimes all the happy pictures really start to make me think that everyone else has such a perfect life and my life is lacking somehow.
When I was pondering on what was so wrong with my life, as I usually do, I had the epiphany that the thing about basing people's happiness on the pictures that they have posted on Facebook doesn't give anyone the correct overall assessment of others lives. These pictures show the happy times, the party times and the fun times, and although those are important times in people's lives, Facebook doesn't show you the times inbetween.
Those pictures never show the arguments, the fights or the not so great times. But everyone has them and it can be hard to remember that at the end of the day we are all the same. We face challenges, many of us the same ones, but when we face them it is at different times. And not many of us post pictures of the sad times on the internet.
I realized that this means that I am no different than any other person. Everyone has a life inbetween those photos that are posted. What those moments consist of I am not quite sure, but I have a feeling that those moments are actually just like mine just with a couple of variables.
Once in awhile I get to see people's happiest moments. Everyone is happy or getting married or having babies and it is great to see. But sometimes all the happy pictures really start to make me think that everyone else has such a perfect life and my life is lacking somehow.
When I was pondering on what was so wrong with my life, as I usually do, I had the epiphany that the thing about basing people's happiness on the pictures that they have posted on Facebook doesn't give anyone the correct overall assessment of others lives. These pictures show the happy times, the party times and the fun times, and although those are important times in people's lives, Facebook doesn't show you the times inbetween.
Those pictures never show the arguments, the fights or the not so great times. But everyone has them and it can be hard to remember that at the end of the day we are all the same. We face challenges, many of us the same ones, but when we face them it is at different times. And not many of us post pictures of the sad times on the internet.
I realized that this means that I am no different than any other person. Everyone has a life inbetween those photos that are posted. What those moments consist of I am not quite sure, but I have a feeling that those moments are actually just like mine just with a couple of variables.
Financial Woes
Of all the things that I want to talk about, the thing that is weighing the most in the front of my brain is my current tax season debacle.
I am at a time of great financial difficulty. I sometimes find that I am very jealous of the financial situation my parents had when they were my age. Though they have never been any kind of well off, at least at my age they had each other and an income that could cover their families needs. I have bills, bills and rent and only my income to support it.
I know somewhere deep down that I can do this. I can turn around my current financial situation with hard work and dedication to the task at hand, but I constantly feel the pressure. This is exactly why we are always cautioned to stay out of debt and this is the express reason why. I constantly feel like I am drowning. No wonder the real estate term for a house that is worth less than it's debt is called "under water".
The biggest stress is the feeling of never being able to get out. Just when I think that I got the situation under control the government needs more of my money, I mean what is that all about. Or the doctor charged me for services that weren't part of my preventative care.
So the current solution is that I will work and work hard and hopefully soon I will be able to find a second (part-time) job, at which I can work a little more and start to make a dent in this small iceberg of debt that I currently have. It is like anti-global warming in my wallet.
In the end, I know that this is a sacrifice that I must make, for not only my health and stress levels but also to increase my quality of life. I want to travel and can't, I am even looking at not being able to attend weddings and conference which are very important to me. And even more than that, I am looking to get married, not anytime in the near future, however when the right guy comes along I know that I personally can't marry him until this debt is taken care of. It is very important advice that I received that I wish I would have listened to long before this.
I am at a time of great financial difficulty. I sometimes find that I am very jealous of the financial situation my parents had when they were my age. Though they have never been any kind of well off, at least at my age they had each other and an income that could cover their families needs. I have bills, bills and rent and only my income to support it.
I know somewhere deep down that I can do this. I can turn around my current financial situation with hard work and dedication to the task at hand, but I constantly feel the pressure. This is exactly why we are always cautioned to stay out of debt and this is the express reason why. I constantly feel like I am drowning. No wonder the real estate term for a house that is worth less than it's debt is called "under water".
The biggest stress is the feeling of never being able to get out. Just when I think that I got the situation under control the government needs more of my money, I mean what is that all about. Or the doctor charged me for services that weren't part of my preventative care.
So the current solution is that I will work and work hard and hopefully soon I will be able to find a second (part-time) job, at which I can work a little more and start to make a dent in this small iceberg of debt that I currently have. It is like anti-global warming in my wallet.
In the end, I know that this is a sacrifice that I must make, for not only my health and stress levels but also to increase my quality of life. I want to travel and can't, I am even looking at not being able to attend weddings and conference which are very important to me. And even more than that, I am looking to get married, not anytime in the near future, however when the right guy comes along I know that I personally can't marry him until this debt is taken care of. It is very important advice that I received that I wish I would have listened to long before this.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Creative Writing - assignment 1
Jaime stood there gripping her boarding ticket so tight that it started to show signs of creasing. She never felt quite comfortable navigating the airports, everyone that she visited seemed even larger than the last. She stared at the monitors checking to see if her flight was still on time, there were so many flights she couldn’t even find hers.
“Hey!” shouted a male voice in the distance behind Jaime.
Jaime turned around to find a random man running straight towards her. She couldn’t think of any reason this would be happening, she didn’t recognize the man, so her natural instinct was to walk away and rather quickly, however her legs didn’t seem to want to move.
“Miss, don’t move, I think that you have my bag,” the man said.
With a sigh of relief and a slight giggle, realizing this was just a misunderstanding, she began to relax and retorted, “I am sorry sir, I think you are mistaken.” Jaime turned to walk away again, maybe she could ask an attendant to help her find her flight.
“I don’t think so. I had that bag sitting at my feet during check-in and YOU grabbed it right out from under me. Just who do you think that you are?”
Trying to stay calm from the accusation that she was now facing, Jaime replied, “This is my bag sir, I have had it since I came into this airport. It has all of my belongings in it, now please leave me alone.”
The man could see the fear of violence beginning to grow in Jaime’s eyes. He knew this was his chance and grabbed for her bag. The robber snagged one of the straps of the bag and held on tight, pulling to get it away from Jaime. She knew that her strength was no match for his, and she didn’t want to let go of everything that she had, but she was unable to continue holding on. The strap of the bag she was holding then slipped from her grasp.
The robber, feeling very victorious and more than ready to enjoy his loot, turned to run when he hit face first into what seemed like a brick wall. The robber fell to the ground stunned. The brick wall of a man bent over and picked up Jaime’s bag., he would have worked to grab the culprit but knew that airport security was right behind him, so instead he went to check on Jaime.
“Are you ok?” the brick wall asked. “My name is Brad by the way.”
“I think I am. I wasn’t really expecting that and I am a bit shaken. And I thought that the worst thing I was going to have to deal with today was trying to find my flight.”
A smirk crossed Brad’s face. “ Let me help, which flight are you waiting for?”
“Flight 415 to…”
“Alabama. That is my flight as well, it has been delayed a couple of hours. How about in the mean time you tell me your name and let me buy you a drink or something to eat?”
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Pre-Holiday Madness
Christmas is next week....
I can barely believe it. It feels like I have been off in my own little world for this past month. I have been in what seems like a never ending loop on work, Christmas shopping and sleep. However, I believe my Christmas shopping is done and now I just have to get through everything else. And when I say get through, I actually mean I get to do some pretty amazing things throughout this next week.
Luckily I traded my RS lesson this Sunday with the second Sunday teacher so I don't have to plan for that this weekend. I am however, singing in our branch's Christmas program this weekend and a little nervous about that. But even before Sunday rolls around I am most looking forward to tomorrow night, our Branch Temple Trip.
I have been terrible at using work as an excuse for not being able to go each month to the Temple. The carpool leaves at the same time that I get off work and I would still have to change and walk the dog, etc. But for tomorrow, I have given myself a no excuses rule. I am just going to leave work an hour early. It will still be tight on time and I will miss the pay, but I am determined to make this trip work out.
Our branch is make a big shindig out of it. True we won't really get to do our regular baptisms for the dead, but there will be lights and programs and a living nativity scene, and the EQ is bringing hot chocolate, cookies, chili and other deliciousness. I can already feel the excitement growing stronger inside me. I have never had the chance to see the Christmas lights at the Oakland Temple, or any temple in person, so I know this will be special.
But more than anything I know that it will give me a chance to be with beloved brothers and sisters, and I will get to share in their spirits as we enjoy the warm feelings that this season tends to bring on. How truly grateful I am to be able to attend this trip. I know this is where I am suppose to be tomorrow and that makes me even more excited, I might explode. Most of all I believe that this trip will continue to remind me to have an attitude of gratitude this holiday season.
I can barely believe it. It feels like I have been off in my own little world for this past month. I have been in what seems like a never ending loop on work, Christmas shopping and sleep. However, I believe my Christmas shopping is done and now I just have to get through everything else. And when I say get through, I actually mean I get to do some pretty amazing things throughout this next week.
Luckily I traded my RS lesson this Sunday with the second Sunday teacher so I don't have to plan for that this weekend. I am however, singing in our branch's Christmas program this weekend and a little nervous about that. But even before Sunday rolls around I am most looking forward to tomorrow night, our Branch Temple Trip.
I have been terrible at using work as an excuse for not being able to go each month to the Temple. The carpool leaves at the same time that I get off work and I would still have to change and walk the dog, etc. But for tomorrow, I have given myself a no excuses rule. I am just going to leave work an hour early. It will still be tight on time and I will miss the pay, but I am determined to make this trip work out.
Our branch is make a big shindig out of it. True we won't really get to do our regular baptisms for the dead, but there will be lights and programs and a living nativity scene, and the EQ is bringing hot chocolate, cookies, chili and other deliciousness. I can already feel the excitement growing stronger inside me. I have never had the chance to see the Christmas lights at the Oakland Temple, or any temple in person, so I know this will be special.
But more than anything I know that it will give me a chance to be with beloved brothers and sisters, and I will get to share in their spirits as we enjoy the warm feelings that this season tends to bring on. How truly grateful I am to be able to attend this trip. I know this is where I am suppose to be tomorrow and that makes me even more excited, I might explode. Most of all I believe that this trip will continue to remind me to have an attitude of gratitude this holiday season.
"There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus the Christ. Let it be a time that lights the eyes of children and puts laughter on their lips. Let it be a time for lifting the lives of those who live in loneliness. Let it be a time for calling our families together, for feeling a closeness to those who are near to us and a closeness also to those who are absent.
Let it be a time of prayers for peace, for the preservation of free principles, and for the protection of those who are far from us. Let it be a time of forgetting self and finding time for others. Let it be a time for discarding the meaningless and for stressing the true values. Let it be a time of peace because we have found peace in His teachings." - Thomas S. Monson, "A Bright Shining Star," 2010 First Presidency Christmas Devotional
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Everything Comes In Threes...
...or in my case twelves.
So much is happening these days. But what I have been thinking about most these last couple of days is a phrase. Why do we fall down?
Answer: So we can pick ourselves up again.
Life is full of hardships because in our lives we have to learn everything that we can. And the only way to do that is through experience. If we never experience sadness, heartbreak, financial hardships, things of that sort then we will never know. We will never know how to deal with such events in the future and we will never know how strong we actually are.
Our bodies may seem weak, nothing but flesh and breakable bones, but our will is strong. To continue to have courage to stand back up when everything seems to be pushing you down.
Courage to face the challenges that lay ahead even when you know they are going to be difficult and when you know that things can't be the same comforting ideas that they were yesterday.
Courage to do what you know in your heart is right, even if that means eating a little more Top Ramen than is necessary for the human body so that you can pay your tithing and your bills and live free of financial debt.
Courage to stand beside a family member even if you feel like you are watching them walk down a rocky path to the future. And courage take responsibility for faults that you didn't know you made.
Every day is about waking up and standing up to those things in life that we are afraid of. To be frightened of things and still wake up to face them is a test of our strength and will every day we live. It is never easy, but it is worth it for those moments of time when the fear and the challenges subside and we are left with only peace in our hearts and minds.
So I ask you, why do we fall down?
So much is happening these days. But what I have been thinking about most these last couple of days is a phrase. Why do we fall down?
Answer: So we can pick ourselves up again.
Life is full of hardships because in our lives we have to learn everything that we can. And the only way to do that is through experience. If we never experience sadness, heartbreak, financial hardships, things of that sort then we will never know. We will never know how to deal with such events in the future and we will never know how strong we actually are.
Our bodies may seem weak, nothing but flesh and breakable bones, but our will is strong. To continue to have courage to stand back up when everything seems to be pushing you down.
Courage to face the challenges that lay ahead even when you know they are going to be difficult and when you know that things can't be the same comforting ideas that they were yesterday.
Courage to do what you know in your heart is right, even if that means eating a little more Top Ramen than is necessary for the human body so that you can pay your tithing and your bills and live free of financial debt.
Courage to stand beside a family member even if you feel like you are watching them walk down a rocky path to the future. And courage take responsibility for faults that you didn't know you made.
Every day is about waking up and standing up to those things in life that we are afraid of. To be frightened of things and still wake up to face them is a test of our strength and will every day we live. It is never easy, but it is worth it for those moments of time when the fear and the challenges subside and we are left with only peace in our hearts and minds.
So I ask you, why do we fall down?
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Halloween Madness Done, Just Need To Take Down The Decorations
It is true, I was going to take down the decorations from Halloween last night, but somehow I have received a nice present of a cold from someone, somewhere and decided that I was so tired when I got home from work that I was just going to sleep through the night and that is what I did. I now feel bad because I missed hanging out with some great people, but since I am not feeling as terribly sick right now I think that I will get over it... eventually. I hate missing out on fun things to do (especially the World Series).
Anyways, after 14 hours of sleep last night I am feeling a lot better and hopefully will be able to get out and about tonight and do something fun, but who knows at this point. What I really want to talk about is the change I have felt in the air these last couple of days. Every morning I get up and walk my dog before work, and for the last couple of days I can feel a crispness in the air that just wasn't there last week.
The cool air has a real bite to it, I can see my breath already. The leaves are falling like crazy (yes the leaves do fall off the trees in California), and soon I expect to see the Christmas decorations and lights getting put up. This is by far my favorite couple of months every year. There is a rushed feeling that can be quite stressful but also there is a change in everyone's attitude that always amazes me. A kindness towards others that only this time of the year seems to bring out of people. That reminds me I really need to make plans to take a trip to the mall and do some holiday people watching, it is the best.
But most of all I love knowing that I get time off this year to spend with my family. It is going to be a difficult holiday season for my family with the death of my Grandfather this last May. Our first holiday season without him, but by being together I think that we will all make it through.
I was talking with a friend Skyler last year about what we liked most about Christmas and he summed it up perfectly. He said to me, it is the one day a year that nothing else matters, you don't worry about finances, you don't worry about work, all you think about is the moment and the other things that trouble you come back the next day, but just for that day they don't exist. That day does not feel like it is going to come soon enough this year.
Anyways, after 14 hours of sleep last night I am feeling a lot better and hopefully will be able to get out and about tonight and do something fun, but who knows at this point. What I really want to talk about is the change I have felt in the air these last couple of days. Every morning I get up and walk my dog before work, and for the last couple of days I can feel a crispness in the air that just wasn't there last week.
The cool air has a real bite to it, I can see my breath already. The leaves are falling like crazy (yes the leaves do fall off the trees in California), and soon I expect to see the Christmas decorations and lights getting put up. This is by far my favorite couple of months every year. There is a rushed feeling that can be quite stressful but also there is a change in everyone's attitude that always amazes me. A kindness towards others that only this time of the year seems to bring out of people. That reminds me I really need to make plans to take a trip to the mall and do some holiday people watching, it is the best.
But most of all I love knowing that I get time off this year to spend with my family. It is going to be a difficult holiday season for my family with the death of my Grandfather this last May. Our first holiday season without him, but by being together I think that we will all make it through.
I was talking with a friend Skyler last year about what we liked most about Christmas and he summed it up perfectly. He said to me, it is the one day a year that nothing else matters, you don't worry about finances, you don't worry about work, all you think about is the moment and the other things that trouble you come back the next day, but just for that day they don't exist. That day does not feel like it is going to come soon enough this year.
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