Sunday, July 1, 2012

Only The Lonely

Maybe this is something that I complain about too much, but as I sit here in my apartment on a beautiful Sunday afternoon I wonder how is it that I come to this lonely feeling as often as I do. Sometimes I like to blame it on biology and say that because I am female my desire to have a family is so strong as I approach my upcoming birthday. That could be true but it is also an excuse to try and explain my feelings I guess. 

I definitely dislike this feeling though. I go to church and am filled with great feelings of the Spirit but then I come home to my almost empty house, where there always seems to be dishes, laundry, vacuuming and cleaning to get done, amongst tons of other things, and it is quiet. Quiet is nice sometimes but most of the time it just reminds me that I am lacking things in my life that I so badly want and feel that I am ready and just waiting for. I feel like I have less patience with each passing day, maybe each hour.  

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