Pre-Holiday Madness

Christmas is next week....

I can barely believe it. It feels like I have been off in my own little world for this past month. I have been in what seems like a never ending loop on work, Christmas shopping and sleep. However, I believe my Christmas shopping is done and now I just have to get through everything else. And when I say get through, I actually mean I get to do some pretty amazing things throughout this next week.

Luckily I traded my RS lesson this Sunday with the second Sunday teacher so I don't have to plan for that this weekend. I am however, singing in our branch's Christmas program this weekend and a little nervous about that. But even before Sunday rolls around I am most looking forward to tomorrow night, our Branch Temple Trip.

I have been terrible at using work as an excuse for not being able to go each month to the Temple. The carpool leaves at the same time that I get off work and I would still have to change and walk the dog, etc. But for tomorrow, I have given myself a no excuses rule. I am just going to leave work an hour early. It will still be tight on time and I will miss the pay, but I am determined to make this trip work out.

Our branch is make a big shindig out of it. True we won't really get to do our regular baptisms for the dead, but there will be lights and programs and a living nativity scene, and the EQ is bringing hot chocolate, cookies, chili and other deliciousness. I can already feel the excitement growing stronger inside me.  I have never had the chance to see the Christmas lights at the Oakland Temple, or any temple in person, so I know this will be special.

But more than anything I know that it will give me a chance to be with beloved brothers and sisters, and I will get to share in their spirits as we enjoy the warm feelings that this season tends to bring on. How truly grateful I am to be able to attend this trip. I know this is where I am suppose to be tomorrow and that makes me even more excited, I might explode. Most of all I believe that this trip will continue to remind me to have an attitude of gratitude this holiday season.

"There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus the Christ. Let it be a time that lights the eyes of children and puts laughter on their lips. Let it be a time for lifting the lives of those who live in loneliness. Let it be a time for calling our families together, for feeling a closeness to those who are near to us and a closeness also to those who are absent.

Let it be a time of prayers for peace, for the preservation of free principles, and for the protection of those who are far from us. Let it be a time of forgetting self and finding time for others. Let it be a time for discarding the meaningless and for stressing the true values. Let it be a time of peace because we have found peace in His teachings." - Thomas S. Monson, "A Bright Shining Star," 2010 First Presidency Christmas Devotional

Everything Comes In Threes...

...or in my case twelves.

So much is happening these days. But what I have been thinking about most these last couple of days is a phrase. Why do we fall down?

Answer: So we can pick ourselves up again.

Life is full of hardships because in our lives we have to learn everything that we can. And the only way to do that is through experience. If we never experience sadness, heartbreak, financial hardships, things of that sort then we will never know. We will never know how to deal with such events in the future and we will never know how strong we actually are.

Our bodies may seem weak, nothing but flesh and breakable bones, but our will is strong. To continue to have courage to stand back up when everything seems to be pushing you down.

Courage to face the challenges that lay ahead even when you know they are going to be difficult and when you know that things can't be the same comforting ideas that they were yesterday.

Courage to do what you know in your heart is right, even if that means eating a little more Top Ramen than is necessary for the human body so that you can pay your tithing and your bills and live free of financial debt.

Courage to stand beside a family member even if you feel like you are watching them walk down a rocky path to the future. And courage take responsibility for faults that you didn't know you made.

Every day is about waking up and standing up to those things in life that we are afraid of. To be frightened of things and still wake up to face them is a test of our strength and will every day we live. It is never easy, but it is worth it for those moments of time when the fear and the challenges subside and we are left with only peace in our hearts and minds.

So I ask you, why do we fall down?

Halloween Madness Done, Just Need To Take Down The Decorations

It is true, I was going to take down the decorations from Halloween last night, but somehow I have received a nice present of a cold from someone, somewhere and decided that I was so tired when I got home from work that I was just going to sleep through the night and that is what I did. I now feel bad because I missed hanging out with some great people, but since I am not feeling as terribly sick right now I think that I will get over it... eventually. I hate missing out on fun things to do (especially the World Series).

Anyways, after 14 hours of sleep last night I am feeling a lot better and hopefully will be able to get out and about tonight and do something fun, but who knows at this point. What I really want to talk about is the change I have felt in the air these last couple of days. Every morning I get up and walk my dog before work, and for the last couple of days I can feel a crispness in the air that just wasn't there last week.

The cool air has a real bite to it, I can see my breath already. The leaves are falling like crazy (yes the leaves do fall off the trees in California), and soon I expect to see the Christmas decorations and lights getting put up. This is by far my favorite couple of months every year. There is a rushed feeling that can be quite stressful but also there is a change in everyone's attitude that always amazes me. A kindness towards others that only this time of the year seems to bring out of people. That reminds me I really need to make plans to take a trip to the mall and do some holiday people watching, it is the best.

But most of all I love knowing that I get time off this year to spend with my family. It is going to be a difficult holiday season for my family with the death of my Grandfather this last May. Our first holiday season without him, but by being together I think that we will all make it through.

I was talking with a friend Skyler last year about what we liked most about Christmas and he summed it up perfectly.  He said to me, it is the one day a year that nothing else matters, you don't worry about finances, you don't worry about work, all you think about is the moment and the other things that trouble you come back the next day, but just for that day they don't exist. That day does not feel like it is going to come soon enough this year.

Cultivating Talents

I am a firm believer in life long learning. Each time that I take the time to cultivate a new talent, the next talent I work on comes that much easier.  I am always reminded of the parable of the Master who gave his three servants a different number of talents. For the ones who used their talents they got the same number back. And for the one that did not use the talent that he was give, his talent was taken away.


Pres. Thomas S. Monson said:  
"Share your talents. Each of you, single or married, regardless of age, has the opportunity to learn and grow. Expand your knowledge, both intellectual and spiritual, to the full stature of your divine potential. There is no limit to your influence for good. Share your talents, for that which we willingly share, we keep. But that which we selfishly keep, we lose."

A couple of years ago I decided that I would learn how to knit. I basically only knit scarves these days but they make for easy Christmas and birthday presents, and in financial times such as these it is definitely a plus to know how to knit, even if you happen to live in a state that sees sunshine most of the year. Today I wanted to share the birthday present I made for my friend. All I had to do was pick the right color of yarn and figure out how to knit in the H. I can't wait to give it to her this weekend. 

Side Note: Any scarf can be magical if you have the right yarn.

I have been thinking about what talent to work on next and have narrowed it down to working on is my writing abilities. I am looking at what kind of writing classes I can take at home in my pajamas. Then I can one day write a book, about what I have no idea, but then I can think about staying at home and devoting my entire life to learning as much as possible. This is to say that if knowledge is the only thing that I get to take with me at the end of this life, I don't want to only know about television shows and movies.

Balancing Under Pressure

I have been told on many occasions and by multiple people that I bring balance to their lives. That when I walk in the room people tend to just calm down because they know that everything is going to be alright. And if it isn't enough that people flat out tell me this, I also have it on good authority in a blessing that the Lord thinks the exact same thing, not exactly in those words but pretty darn close.

I know this might sound like I am bragging or being arrogant, but the truth is having this ability to make others feel better sometimes leaves me feeling a little bit like I am under pressure. A pressure that is more like a weight on my chest than anything else. It often leaves me feeling the need to make sure everybody is okay and taking care of all the time.

I recognize that those are qualities of a mother, but the thing is I am not a mother. So why do I spend all my free time organizing parties so people have things to do on weekends? And arranging rides so everyone can get to activities? And most importantly why do I add this responsibility to myself when I have so many more responsibilities that I already have to take care of?

Because all the stress and responsibilities that I deal with mean that someone else is included and hopefully having a good time. Maybe I need to spend more time focusing on what this planning is doing for other people rather than how  I feel so overwhelmed. There are things that seem to make it worth the effort, like when I received a text message from a friend the other day simply stating that she was so happy that I had thought to invite her to dinner party I am planning for this weekend. 

I guess just like me, other people want to feel like someone is thinking of them and caring about their well being. And many times we forget that there is always someone with us doing just that.

Starting A New Blog... Again!

I always get into my head that I could just start a new blog at anytime and that it is gonna be the most amazing thing that I will ever do. Everyone will read it and think I am intelligent and funny and they will be inspired by my unique view of the world. Maybe that could happen, mostly likely it won't though and that is okay with me.

The main thing that has been stopping me from starting this venture is fear. The fear that everyone will just see a young kid trying hard to just not drown in this crazy world.  In the end I will have to realize that this is okay because in all honesty that is a little bit how I feel sometimes.

But when I sit down and really start to think about all the reasons I want to post my thoughts and feelings, it has very little to do with impressing anyone else and more to do with me needing to find another way to express myself. Of my many hopes for this blog I wish to work on perfecting myself as I have been asked to do, and just maybe in the process of helping myself grow, I can help others as well.

I guess I will sooner or later find out how this venture goes. :)