Back To Work

I was debating what I wanted to post about today, the easiest topic of course won out so today I am thinking a lot about my decision to go back to being a gym member. I feel like it was a split decision because I walked into the gym with no intention of joining, I was just feeling lousy and knew that a good work out would help me feel better. And since I could just buy a day pass and work out with my friend I thought this was no big deal, $10 to feel better, I will take that. I decided anyways to ask about joining and see what it would cost, thinking that if I could work it into my budget then I could join within the next month.

Well I got the numbers and went to work out and think about what I was going to do. I have had a nagging feeling lately that I just needed to find a way to get myself working out again. I told myself months ago when I quit my last gym that I could just work out at home and save the money for other things. Lots of people work out at home and they do just fine. I should have known from past experiences that I am not one of those people. It is not that I don't like working out I really do and I know that my apartment is no gym but I also know that it is big enough to burn some calories, yet I never did anything to get the work outs going.

Call me lazy if you want I don't care, I know that I have a tendency to be on the lazy side, especially when I feel like everything is piled up against me. A lot of times that means I will fight back but when it comes to working out or house work I tend to let the laziness take over. These days it seems to take over easily between having a second job and my chronic neck pain/ headaches. I know deep down I couldn't let this all continue, I needed to make this change and work on helping myself feel better.

Luckily my friend was there to help me think through the idea of joining the gym.Don't you just love friends! We talked it over, what it would mean for financially, what it would mean for me physically and mentally, even how it might work better in my schedule than trying to get to the gym right after work like I was doing before. By the end of the work out I had done strength training for my arms, cardio on the elliptical and treadmill and shot some hoops at the converted basketball court. And I knew that I should sign up right away, so I did. I feel good, I feel stronger, I feel like sore :) Though I had some trouble getting out of chairs and lifting my arms over my head yesterday and today, it is a good feeling, I don't know if it is actually possible but I can feel my body growing stronger right now, healing it self and getting out all the junk I have been putting in there.

Sweating It Out

I once had a friend that asked me why I enjoyed going home and showering right after the gym. I have always known part of the reason is because dang I stink after all that working out but I always knew there was something else involved. A different feeling that was more than just cleaning myself or letting my muscles relax in the warm water. Though those are both reasons that I do it as well.

I am currently re-reading my favorite book and it occurred to me that what I love most about showering right after a work out is this, there is a small victory that comes with washing away the sweat. In the book the water is recycled in the space station so the main character talks about everyone else getting a part of his sweat, the sweat of victory, of accomplishing something that no one thought he could do. That is how I feel every time I work out and then take a shower. It is part of victory for me, and everyone else will know I am victorious as the sweat is washed away and I am left clean and healthier.

You Can't Run Away

In the recent past I have taken up running. It has never been my favorite thing, I have only found the want to run if there was a purpose, like playing a sport or running away from zombies or other dangerous situations. No need to worry thought the latter has only happened a couple of times.

Running is definitely something that I am doing because well it is free and I can't afford a gym right now. It does have it's set backs such as my knee tweaking for a couple of days after each run/jog/walk. And the air is still cold from winter and makes my asthma kick in to high gear causing coughing fits even when I have taken my inhaler as prescribed. But I know there are benefits too.

I now that my body is reacting to the exercise even if it is not much. My clothes are fitting a little better and I can definitely tell that my body is getting stronger. Though I realized the other day that these are not the only reasons that I have been running. I have been running because it gives me the feeling of being able to run away from life's problems.

Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing but it is what it is. When there are problems or feelings that have been troubling me throughout the day I can just run away from them. It is a time when no one can get to me. A place and time when it is just me, I don't answer any text messages or anything of that sort, and I just run away from everything that might be plaguing me. The only thing that is hard sometimes is coming back from the run and remembering the reality that I running from my problems doesn't actually solve anything.

Aches, Pains and Clarity

When you are a bigger girl people tend to expect you to be unhealthy. They sometimes expect me to not be able to run or be very athletic or even to have normal blood pressure. People see me exercising and tend to believe that I am doing it because I want to be skinny like other people. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind, just how much easier my life would be if I was thinner, but for the most part I exercise because I want to be healthy and strong, not necessarily thin.

At this time I have frozen my gym membership and have began just running and working out with my best friends just in the area around where I live. I have never liked running in the past, I have found it boring and annoying. But recently I have found that when I run it gives me a chance to clear my head or just not think about those things that plague me the rest of the 23 hours of the day. It is nice until I have to worry about the aches and pains for the next day or so.

But no matter the aches or pains, I am willing to continue because I can see my improvement over such a short amount of time. A couple of weeks ago when we started running I couldn't run for very long at all, now I improve each day and can run longer and faster, depending on the weather, stupid asthma. And even better I sometimes get to run with my dog and I am pretty sure that he enjoys it as well. Overall I am ready to keep up this venture through all the pain.

Climb Every Mountain

Or in this case stair.

Let's talk about StairMasters. It is the newest machine at the gym that I am attempting to work out on. And I do mean attempting in the loosest of terms. When I got on it for the first time last week I started to have an asthma attack. Between the pain from lack of oxygen and the fear I had of falling off the machine I quickly decided that I wouldn't be stepping on that death trap again anytime soon.

Seriously check out this machine

You can't tell me that this doesn't look completely scary. There is at least a foot and a half between the first step and the ground.

However I faced my fear today and got on the death machine again. I made it twice as long as last time without stopping which was a great achievement. But even more than just that, this machine made me sweat like no other machine I have been on in the gym. Not that the other machines don't give me a good workout but literally sweat dripping down my face, it was just so weird.

I liked it very much, it made me feel like I was actually accomplishing something at the gym and in such a short amount of time, which is nice because I have only been dedicating about 30 mins to the gym after work these days. And in all honestly that is a big improvement over the not going at all that was happening before now.

It is my personal goal to work out two important things this summer in the extra time I will have. One, to get a nice tan so I don't look like a ghost in the dark at night, and two, have a fantastic set of gluts. A little vain you may say and perhaps it is but I will be working on other things at the gym as well that will make my body a bit stronger and that is the ultimate goal. Nice gluts are just a side effect ;)